In the spirit of that article:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our first meeting of “Wyze Anonymous”. I’m carverofchoice, and I’m here to confess that I am a Wyze-aholic.
You see, I’ve fallen prey to their too-good-to-be-true prices with low-profit margins to make great tech affordable to all…too affordable if I am honest. I started with a smart scale and then a couple of cameras and some sensors but it didn’t stop there. My obsession with their affordable and feature-packed gadgets grew exponentially. It started innocently enough. I only planned to get a couple of things that I needed, but then I realized, I saved so much money compared to “the other guys” and got so much more from it that I felt I could spend what I saved on more stuff. In the beginning, my intermittent “hobby” was a soft and smooth flaxen cord. I even enjoyed it for social reasons, but it changed over time to become the heavy chains of pure dependency and addiction from which I lost all control. Before I knew it, I had smart locks and robot vacuum cleaners and nearly everything Wyze has ever made strewn around my entire house. I even bought their non-smart devices. I sought other Wyze-aholics like myself (–cough–cough-- @R.Good @spamoni4 ) to enable my addiction and pressure me into more compulsive purchases. We even played games with our addiction, like: who has the Wyze-est house, or the most Device App Badges. I mean, I even enabled other people, including pretending R.Good won some of the games. I even got others like @cyberdog_17 to become just as sick as me and my friends because misery loves company. Sometimes we bought things we didn’t need or couldn’t really use…like R.Good bought a Sprinkler controller without even having any sprinklers. and I bought a Neutral-wire dependent smart switch even though I didn’t have neutral wiring in my house! The pure insanity! I even bought a black V3 when it launched just to have one, with no idea where I would even use it since I had 40 other cameras setup already. I just couldn’t let my addiction group beat me in the Wyze-st home game.
My addiction went so far that I eagerly awaited each new product announcement like a kid on Christmas morning, and I signed up as a Beta tester for the Beta App, and Beta Firmware, just to get the newest features sometimes. I even became a VOLUNTEER on their forums, helping and enabling others.
At first, my friends were amused by my smart home antics, but soon, they saw me transform into a walking Wyze billboard, constantly yapping about all the smart things I had, and the cool automations I enacted. I couldn’t stop myself from showing off my devices, automations, etc that controlled every aspect of my life.
My 16yo daughter absolutely hates my addiction, because she hasn’t been able to lie me to that “it wasn’t me” for several years now because she knows I can always verify, and now as a teenager it’s basically impossible for her sneak out of the house or sneak people into the house in the middle of the night without me knowing about it. How is a teenager supposed to have house parties while I’m away, or midnight pool parties? I’m basically ruining my daughter’s whole life!
Not to mention my toddlers…my 3yo doesn’t get to be terrified of monsters in the middle of night because she says her “dadda camera” keeps her safe and she can talk to me at any moment when she needs or wants me. I got my family TALKING to smart devices now, not just to other humans. What have I done? And they walk into rooms and things automatically turn on when they are there and off when they leave, and I’m making my whole family so spoiled and lazy by making life so easy! “Tough times create strong men, strong men create easy times, easy times create weak men, weak men create tough times.” So, I know I should let them grow up with tough times like conventional people, but with my addiction, I just can’t help myself.
The worst part is, I can’t resist the temptation to buy more. My obsession with Wyze has impacted my life in ways I never thought possible. My stress levels are so much lower because everywhere has security and on automatic schedules and letting me know only about things I think are the most important, while making other things available for my perusal if I need it/feel like it. I make all sorts of justifications like this to fuel my addiction and codependency.
My Wyze obsession has even completely flipped my understanding of statements like “you get what you pay for” which no longer means paying more is always getting something better, because my Wyze addiction showed me that paying more often just meant higher prices were just due to higher profit margins, and not higher quality, more features, or better reliability. I mean, my obsession does extend to other smart devices, and I have cameras and devices from several other companies too, but even with the expensive ones, I found none of them were really “better” than the low-margin Wyze devices. The grass isn’t actually greener on the other side in my experience (and I tried a lot). But yeah, you do get what you pay for elsewhere…higher profit margins elsewhere, no better functionality or features overall elsewhere (sometimes worse or different), but terrible communication and get completely ignored for any requests or suggestions, etc. elsewhere. You get what you pay for to me now just means a worse financial situation, fewer devices, often fewer features, etc. Here’s a summary of an unbiased comparison test article I read that illustrates a good example of my new excuse and justification I have for rethinking that phrase to further enable my addiction/obsession.
The effects of my obsession have gotten so bad that I have over 40 cameras and 300+ Wyze devices with no end in sight! Like Abby said:
[this] obsession is over the top. This isn’t normal behavior, and something may be wrong with [me].
The guy in the article only had half as many cameras as me, so if he was over-the-top, then I am “beyond extravagant, & excessively lavish”.
So, here I am, baring my soul to all of you, hoping that with your support, I can learn to increase my Wyze addiction, better PRETEND some semblance of normalcy (not actually obtain it), and maybe even have a few bucks left in my bank account (thanks to getting what I pay for (low-profit margins) at a more affordable rate than I would be paying otherwise). Thank you for listening.
Disclaimer: the above is mostly meant as entertainment/satire (please take it with a grain of humor), mingled with truth…just for the watercooler.