The problem with IR remotes is they require line of sight to the sensor. Obviously that would be a problem for a light bulb that is inside the shade of a table lamp, or the cover of a ceiling light.
By the way, there are RF to IR bridges, so you could actually set up a system to control those existing lights of yours via an app. Unfortunately, IR gives you no feedback as to whether the command was successful or not unless you are close enough to see the light.
I expect if anyone made the type of device you are requesting, it would use an RF remote.
I have a smart socket that is controlled via both WiFi and and a RF remote, but the remote is simply an on/off switch. On the plus side, it is powered by kinetic energy (pushing the switch) and requires no battery!